Friday, January 20, 2012
Maybe it was the hairy areolas …
The other day, our big columnist at the paper, who has an equally big fb presence, threw out to the wolvesmasses a letter he’d gotten chastising him for giving money that readers donated to him to distribute to needy folks. In it, the person (who actually identified herself later downthread out of ... guilt, I guess?) had this to say about one of the recipients:
Dear Jerry, why would you help a single mother of four who’s pregnant with her fifth child? She’s just a breeder who’s milking the system, I’ll bet. Why don’t you help someone who could really use the money?
I, naturally, couldn’t resist:
Well, maybe she’ll use the money for an abortion, then. Christ.
To which I was promptly told my comment was “disgusting” and “totally inappropriate,” which I then said was my point because who the hell would deny a struggling mom first of all, but second, it was Jerry’s money to do with as he saw fit. But really, my point—and I did explain this as well—was that here’s a woman who’s chosen to have five children like
And—AND!—if I may continue on this soapbox for a moment, if anyone ever thought leaving charity solely to churches and people’s “voluntary kindness” without any sort of government safety net is the way it should happen, this is exACTly why it can’t: Individuals cannot be relied upon to neither not judge nor be consistent with meeting the needs of so many people, and anyone who says they’d rather be able to help on their own terms rather than ponying up and letting the government make the choice is delusional, at best. A guy with whom I went to high school, for example, was all stiff because he either donated to his church or gave to a needy family over the holidays or some shit, and he’d posted on fb about what a wonderful feeling it gave him to be able to give and “that’s how it should be.”
Well sure, that’s great, Richie, you helped out a family for a day or maybe even a week if you were extra-generous—now how ‘bout the other 51 weeks or 364 days? Who’s going to help then? And what about the other millions of people who need help? Based on the hard-on you got from how nice it felt to give, are you prepared to sustain that level of giving/ecstasy!? Because from what I understand, NO ONE can without benefit of really good drugs, and THEN you end up getting raw and hurty from the exertion, anyway. (Don’t do drugs, kids!) ANYway, I continue to be mystified by this idea many people have that those with money are the answer to everything, because they aren’t, at least not to any degree that eradicates even a little the suffering of the human condition. Let the government take its chunk and deliver it to as many as it feasibly can, and be done with it.
So things have gone on in the what, year and a half that I haven’t been here? Among them are these:
-- The little Gray Ghost passed a month after I last posted, in what had to be the worst way a person who’d never previously put down an animal could’ve experienced. (Stupid vile, hateful local 24-7 clinic I hope spontaneously combusts with every employee in it.) But we now have Hurricane Carol, who’s been a wonderfully kooky addition to the resort.
-- Rube, meanwhile, has been having tummy trouble again and could possibly have lymphoma, but the vet isn’t quite convinced of that, so we’re treating him for IBD first. And that’s what I’m sticking to.
-- Had some great stories, especially the last couple months of 2011. Besides the RCPM gig, there’s been the first gay National Guardsman to reenlist (big ol’ scoop, that one was), the private inauguration of Gary’s first black woman mayor (there was a public one the week after, but I muscled my way in to the first one when the press wasn’t supposed to be there) and the rescue and aftermath of two little boys whose mom was burned to death in a housefire, which wasn’t a scoop but I got some really good angles out of it. We have new overlords at the paper aGAIN, so who knows exactly what that means, but we ALSO have direct deposit finally, so I’ve been a straight-up ballah, what with not overdrawing my account and all. Like, one day I went to get $20 out of my account and discovered I had close to $1,700 left, and I really didn’t know how that happened! It was amazing!
-- After three-plus years of celibacy, sex even happened quite a bit, but let me ask y’all something: When was someone going to tell me that sex with someone with whom you can barely have a cogent conversation is SO MUCH FUN!?? Damn, yo! Now, I pulled some shit in my 20s, but the Summer of Slut/Autumn of Ass had me hearing, “You did NOT!” quite often by the crew. Well yes, yes I did, and with very little regret.
Because it’s me, however, there was someone with whom I’d hoped to see where things went—completely against my better judgment because also remember, it IS me and I’m nothing if not entirely too optimistic for my own good. (True fact: If someone says to you they aren’t with anyone because they haven’t found someone worthy of them yet (emphasis mine), have a hearty, derisive laugh with your friends about it, by all means, but then take it as the warning it inevitably is.) But it happened and, after a long, emotional (also: DRUNK) email exchange at least on my part, it’s done. Of course, as I’m sitting here achy and hoping like fuck I’m not coming down with death, I’m kinda feeling his not being around—the person I’d hoped he was, at any rate. Who he turned out to be? Not so much, and I REALLY hate the disappointment of that.
I’m sure the heifers will remind of whatever I’m forgetting, but for now, Ima take me a Tylenol with codeine and hope I don’t die between now and my shift tomorrow.
As you know, I was a voyeur to the beginning of this, and I was loving your comment! I have to laugh when people get so bunched over “disgusting and inappropriate” TALK, and ignore the disgusting and inappropriate THINGS that are going on. Like I told ya, I got you and your point right off the bat and thought it was magnificent. It’s so easy for ALL of us to sit in our Ivory towers and judge - much easier than putting our d**ks in the dirt, as my brother would say, and doing the nasty work - like accepting that people are, sometimes, just people.
Which brings me to the part here where you talked about people not likely to be charitable or you implying that they only do it to “feel good about themselves”. That’s unsustainable, you say, and that’s why we need government aid. I disagree largely, but not totally, and here’s why. I don’t think we have enough average people with enough average resources to make enough of a difference for EVERYONE who needs it - forever. So, yes, there should be a gov’t. net. However, I disagree with the idea that MOST people are unwilling to help others or only do it to make themselves feel better. I also disagree with the idea that everyone who’s getting it NEEDS it.
Jim and I helped our old neighbors next door for almost 3 YEARS. We paid their rent at times, we basically employed the husband (who worked for us like a champ, I might add) and paid him a LOT to mow, till, do household stuff - cash money. When the Nipsco was shut off, we let them run extension cords to our house to keep the shit going - our bill WAS HUGE. That ended when he started stealing the Nipsco. I took one of their SIX daughters, who was 20 and pregnant by some banging dillhole, to take her driver’s test in MY car - and I paid for the test. It also came with a good dose of “do what you’re supposed to do on Probation. Pay your fees. I’ll help you if you need. But you have a second chance here. Don’t fuck it up.” (She fucked it up) I gave them clothes, money, got the church to help. I got them job interviews they didn’t go to - for which I put myself on the line and looked like an ass. I got him a job working for cash for the barn fire lady. I gave them furniture. I helped them work on their taxes. We talked about how they ended up like this and they basically said they’ve just always been like this. They were great neighbors and are still good friends. We love them.
But other than some work around here, we can’t help them anymore. We FINANCIALLY can’t help them anymore, and I can’t feel bad about that because they’ve done NOTHING to help themselves. Jim and I have built a lifestyle that sustains 2 kids well enough. We shouldn’t be chastised for not supporting another 8 person family. They rent, don’t pay, and stay until someone kicks them out, then move and do it again. They’re getting every government aid available, and lie about who still is at home to get more than they’re entitled to. Even then, it’s not enough to sustain them - it’s a pittance. The same year I paid $3K in taxes because I had to rape my Simple to buy a new HVAC system, they got $9k back in taxes - partly legal, partly not. Of their 6 children, 5 have not graduated from high school. The last who’s almost 14, is in the 6th grade and I’ve got no hope for her either. Intellectually, she’s about 7 - otherwise, she’s going on 20.
I’ve met the grandparents. This shit is one generation to the next. There is nothing WRONG with these people. They’re white, so no racism keeping them down. They’re smart - the dude can fix anything and, like I said, works like a champ for me!! I ask, and it’s DONE! I tried so hard to help them get on their feet in their own right, to no avail. It pains the hell out of me to think of them and those kids doing without, but I’m not willing to do it ANY more. I had to draw the line when they asked if two of them could come live with us! NO. When you have no other responsibility, how in the hell hard is it to get your kids’ asses to school - so they don’t turn out suffering like you??
If you want to paint most people with the Richie brush, then I’m painting most of the needy with the Neighbor brush. I think we’re probably both wrong.